Nana....Part 2

I start out this post thanking God for my family, and my, for the most part, wonderful, "warm & fuzzy" memories. It is always refreshing for me to spend time in the past, dredging up images & events from a fairytale childhood.

I was thinking again of Nana in the night, and how her snappy, brown eyes could telegraph disapproval of an action, yet still convey her love to a disobedient or rambunctious child.

She operated largely in the background of the family, and does not stand out in my mind as a figure of authority to fear, even though she was. But her presence in my life was a warm, quiet, steady influence that I took for granted as always there, always steady & dependable.

Here is just one example of how Nana made a lasting impact on my life:
One Christmas, observing us ripping & tearing with abandon into the knee-deep assortment of gifts & toys we received, she took quiet notice of one box, about 6" square. In it was a pair of twin dolls - a boy & a girl - dressed in matching blue outfits. My sister received a similar pair, dressed in pink. In all of the confusion, we never saw Nana take them both & hide them away. I am ashamed to admit that in the great sea of Christmas excess that was America in the 1950's, we never even missed them!

Then, one quiet rainy day in the summer, when we were bored to be stuck inside & had been good (for a change), she drew them out & gave them back to us. I will never forget my surprise & delight to see them & get them back (even though I had not thought of them since they disappeared on Christmas). But the knowledge that she cared enough about me, & more, that she cared about the dolls & their condition, made them much more special to me. I took very good care of them & I don't think I ever played with them without thinking of Nana & of her special care of them for me!

She had lived a lean, tough life herself, and was therefore full of wisdom & pertinent warnings, such as the one cited yesterday. But she was also Irish to the core, & passed down to us innumerable bits of humor & wit. Most of her quips are blended together in my memory so that not many stand out as coming directly from Nana, but one I remember clearly.

It happened that one day, as children do, I was digging deeply into a nostril with a finger, fully absorbed in the search for whatever was itching or bothering me.... I didn't know Nana was observing me, until she quietly said with a straight face, "That man's dead, you know." Of course, I immediately stopped what I had been doing to inquire, "What man, Nana?" Her straight-faced reply, "The one you're making the pills for."

Nana was second to Mom in the hierarchy of the household & we all learned to respect her authority. That is, while Mom & Dad were around. Unfortunately for Nana, we sometimes took advantage of her gentle nature when our parents were away. I remember my mother telling me of the time she & Dad left us with Nana to babysit while they went out for dinner at the home of some friends. They had only been enroute for about 15 minutes when they had to head back home for Mom's purse, which she had forgotten. Here is the sight that greeted her when she opened the front door, in her own words to me (now remember - there were 5 of us, between about 3 & 12 years of age):

"You were being chased around the room by Patsy, both of you shrieking like banshees. Lauren (the youngest) was climbing up the rungs of the tippy kitchen stool to reach the cookies on the counter. Mike (the oldest) was swinging by his hands from the upstairs floor where the circular staircase were open, & Kit was sliding down the curved bannister at breakneck speed, screaming as if he was on a roller coaster. All was earsplitting chaos & confusion - and there sat poor Mother (Nana) in the middle of the couch - with her arms up over her head & eyes closed tightly, evidently wishing with all her heart that she was anywhere else!"

Growing up in a big family with a grandmother in residence added a rich dimension to my life. As Nana aged, and especially after she broke a hip, we all began to learn how to anticipate her needs. I am grateful for the lessons learned during that time. They came in handy later on, when my own mother, & later my mother-in-law, came to live with us until age & infirmity took them home. Not many people have had real-life courses in the care & nurturing of an elderly family member as I did. Even in the best of circumstances, it can be very challenging, specially when that person is a resident in your home. I have been blessed.

Thank you, Nana, for all your love, patience & humor, and for your forgiveness when we were thoughtless & careless. But most of all, thank you for the lessons you taught us, - the respect for our elders & the caregiving skills you instilled in us. I love you, have not forgotten you, and never will.

Where Has the Time Gone??

Where, indeed, has it gone? Seems like just yesterday I was running barefoot through long summer days without a care in the world! I'd go out to the woods as early as 5 AM (before Mom could comb & tightly braid my long hair). There I'd stay, alone or playing with my friends, until hunger would drive me home for lunch. On other days, when Mom caught me first to do my hair & make sure I did my chores, I'd not get away until mid-morning, but that was worth it because my grandmother, "Nana," would often make me a picnic lunch to take to the woods, & that was just about as good as it can ever get!

Now before you all condemn my mother for neglecting us, let me tell you that we lived in a world far, far different than the one we now inhabit....there was very little or no crime in our neighborhood. Everyone knew everyone. There was no TV, no computers, & very little concern for kidnappers, sexual predators or thieves. Everyone had ONE telephone in their house (maybe 2 if they were really rich, which only 1 of our neighbors were).

There were no portable phones, of course, & we were all on "party lines," which means that several households shared one telephone line. When you picked up the phone, you had to listen first to see if anyone was already in the middle of a call. There was no dial tone, but there were live operators, to whom you gave the number you wanted to call, & they connected you by hand!

Anyway, my point is that we inhabited simpler times, and there was not the level of worry that mothers now must live with. It was a much lighter, more care-free existence, for sure!

Where we lived, there were 2 wooded areas. The one behind our house was the "little" woods, running along a tiny creek between our neighborhood & the small, public elementary school. When I was very young, that is, between about 5 & 8, I was not allowed to go across the street, so fortunately I could play all I wanted in the little woods without crossing any roads.

It was like heaven to little kids like us. Even though the whole woods probably took up less than an acre & a half or so, it seemed to us to be as big as the world, & sure enough, it was just about our whole world. We'd crawl through small openings in the brush (probably deer trails) and pretend that we were being chased by dinosaurs. This was especially exciting during summer rain storms, when the flashes of lightening & the crashes of thunder became for us the monster's roaring & firery breath. We pulled up weeds that had thick stems & shallow, clumpy roots(I think now they must have been stalks from milkweed or burdocks). They were perfectly weighted to throw at the "dragons" that pursued us.

So, my time is almost up for today, & I must ask myself - what is there, if anything, in these ancient memories of mine, that has any lasting value? Well, I guess not much, except that for me, there is the ability to compare & contrast the past with the present. In doing that, I observe the decline in the safety of the typical American neighborhood in just the past +/- 50-60 years. Today, you would NEVER allow a child under the age of 10 to be out of your sight for an hour, much less 5 or 6 hours! And I did not mean to say that it was DAILY like that - I do remember Mom checking up on me, calling me home, laying down the rules for my limits on how far I could go & making sure that my older siblings were with me or nearby to watch out for me. So do not assume that I was this baby toddler who was left "on my own" all day, every day. It was not like that.

But I do remember a much looser, more worry-free childhood than I see my grandsons having, and the bottom line for today is that it makes me sad to know that they will never have the blessed freedom from anxiety that I, my family & friends shared. That's all for today - God bless us all, & God bless America!